Never give up!!

Sometimes I get lost, blinded through social media, lied to by money and greed, burnt by other people’s opinions n tripped up by society’s expectations. Well I declare that I, Aic3la, just want to be happy so if you’re not trying to encourage and support as i do to realness please leave the table….

May 2016

Aic3la

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Á mi primer amor….. Cuba

cuba flag

Perdonamé Cuba, yo se que en hace mucho tiempo no he hablado sobre ti, casi como que no estábamos juntos pero porfa aceptar eso como mi disculpa.
Sin ti, no podría ser la mujer quien soy hoy, tu lo juro eso. Fuiste tú que me ensenado a ser fuerte, independiente y orgullosa. Era mi primer tiempo fuera de mi hogar por tanto tiempo y con todas las complicaciones, todavía usted me dio todo que necesitaba para sobrevivir.
Un mundo sin Face, sin móvil, sin comida rápida, sin TV!!! Era una lucha pero cause de ti, cuido mis relaciones con amigos y familia como oro. Nadie puede entender los conflictos personales que se presenta en un mundo tan cerrado pero abierto.
La loca chica que se enamoró con el Malecon, casi cada noche estábamos ojo a ojo con las estrellas, y sin duda con refresco de limon y mi botella de ron (3 anos) ese paz que tuve en estos días solo puedo encontrar en mis sueños. Creo que no existe en el mundo despertada.
También mis leyenda con palabrotas contra otros, creo que en 3 semanas, sabía cómo destruir un hombre con Cuba-ñol jajajaja, gracias mis locos amigos en el Malecon, las amistades que erán hechos en tu presencia eran desde loca y frágil hasta los que están en mi corazón para siempre.
Conoci a mi segunda madre Merici, ella erá mi fuerza en momentos cuando un abrazo valia mas que diamantes. Sabes las problemas que tenia allá, y ella con tu poder, y me dio el coraje para andar con mi cabeza arriba orgullosamente. Ahora ella esta con Dios y yo se que cuando veo las estrellas en formación de ‘La Osa Mayor’ como mi tatuaje, ella esta mirándonos con cariño.
Cuba, no puedo describir la libertad que tu me ha dejado, esó es más que palabras pueden explicar.
Tuvimos nuestra primer encuentro con la naturaleza y aunque me gusta el mundo natural creo que es mejor si voy por las calles, no por las valles! Mucho estrés para los bichos, no vale la pena!
En tiempos buenos y malos, con peleas y amores, entre los engañadores y las aventuras, nada puede tener la maravilla que tuvimos. Desde Coppelia helados por desayuno hasta mis pizzas en mi borrachería, todos sabían que usted, Cuba, me tenía desde mi llegada.
Como un primer novio nunca voy a borrarte de mi vida, incluso si te sientes que no te amo te lo juro que sigues en mi corazón pa siempre.

Espero que usted me entiendes y lo encuentras en su corazón para que me perdone……

Aic3la

Life-changing month ahead!! Colombia or Mexico

colombia n mexico

Heeelllllloooooo people!!! Yes it’s me! Not the reviewing this time, signing in purely for chatter purposes!

Thought I’d get back to blogging as I’m potentially in for some show stopping news…… (love the showstoppers lol)
If you have followed me over the past 2 years you remember my life took a drastic turn for the worst due to illness and I had to turn down of a teaching job in Honduras. I’m pleased to say that I am fully recovered and eager to get back out into the world and dive into more cultures.

All I love to do is travel, meet people and teach…. it gives me an adrenaline rush just thinking about it.

Well the news is that I am in the process of waiting for a response from the British Council regarding a potential placement abroad in either Colombia or Mexico!! I have dreamt about my next adventure since I landed back in London in 2012 and I’m on tenterhooks at the thought of another take off!!

Depending on how my teaching profile is reviewed I could be placed in either country for a potential 11 months as an English Language Assistant. I have heard so much about the program and what it has to offer. Can’t wait to find out more, inc my new destination!

When I find out, I’ll be sure to fill y’all in!!!
xoxo

Ostrich in a Penthouse….

Right now i feel like i can see over my dreams and wants in life but there is an invisible barrier rising between us. I have worked for many a crazy adventure in my life and managed to succeed in all that i have wanted to do. Whether it be going on holiday at least 3 times a year or working 4 12hour shifts over the Christmas period i have done it.

So now when i am approaching the biggest pause button of my life, i am starting to fill up with anxiety. I know that i will recover and get back to my normal self but 2013 is not looking the way i wanted. I want to do so much and then i remember….. Oh yeh im have been diagnosed with an illness and i have to take at least a month out for recover from surgery. It has sunk in but sometimes i remember and it annoys the hell outta me.

Got me here drinking a Rum and Coke on a Monday night…….

As much as people tell me i will be fine and i should just take the time out to rest. There is nothing worse that craving the lifestyle you know you can work towards. My faith in God is abundant but he has blessed me with such ambition that my soul cannot rest until i have set up a new adventure or planned another outing.

My heart knows that in the long run i will be healthier and better off but im so ready to work some serious hours, get my butt into the gym, start using separate face and body creams, actually combing out my afro every night and greasing my scalp and all other sorts of madness but then i have a flashback and sigh deeply cz i kno the worst is yet to come.

So yep Mr Ostrich in a Penthouse i too can see my peers through the windows, gliding at my side through life as they please and although we are all in the clouds, i too cannot fly……

xoxo

Once upon a now…….

Once upon a now there is an old girl/young woman who is living in a world of beautiful shit and ugly masterpieces.

She, herself, as like everyone else, is barely keeping her head above water in the global sea of problems. Finances, Love or lack of, Health, Career, even Carbon Footprints?!?!?!?!

At times she wants to escape into a closed space with a multi-coloured packet of sharpies and scribble her every last dream onto the whitewash walls because in her fear of failure, she thinks that would be as real as they’d get. in permanent ink…

At other times she feels as fit as a fiddle, wearing a perfectly co-ordinated outfit, T&A (Tits and Ass) set to ‘flirty’, her work life gaining gold stars and she’s so confident she can talk 2 anyone cz she’s cool like that.

All this, same old girl…..

Graduation babaaaaaaay!!

graduate babay

 

So i have been having an emotional few weeks accepting that my life might be on a new path but i’m trusting in God to take me where i need to be cz he made my heart and knows what it wants…..

Today was actually the first day of many that i can say i was filled with pride as a result of my hard work and determination. I was one of the stereotypical students during my time at University, even though i decided to stay home, i live in London PARTY CENTRAL!!! So i was always hitting a student night (50p vodka shots and foam parties!!) and rolling into class whenever i got to many ‘absent’ emails in my inbox. I did like education but as with many students, i was not taught how to write or read effectively.

In our young days we are taught pronunciation and confidence in speech what we need to do but it seems that at University you actually had to REEEEEAD the words and take them in……. lol…… I know, sounds crazy but you would be surprised how many people struggle with this concept.

In my 3rd year i was lucky enough to spend my year abroad in the magical city of Havana, Cuba where i learnt the importance of living life to the full no matter your circumstances and dancing the night away. I did go to class out there as i wanted to improve my Spanish in immersion classes however i learnt my most valuable ‘Cubanol’ in the late evening on the Malecon with my beloved ‘Havana Club 3 anos’ Rum with refresco Limon looking at the clear bright stars singing along to the passing boomboxes or live band. (Learnt a lotta good swear words too lmao!)

It was not until my return from Cuba and the realization it was my final year that i pulled my big girl pants right up and started studying . After choosing my modules i was blessed with amazing tutors that helped me through my struggles and guided me into the place i am in today. (Latin American, Caribbean, Brazillian Portguese departments at London Metropolitan University, I THANK YOU!!) It was hard and i missed a lot of good parties but it was only on this day i realised the worth of what i had done.

I was living in Mexico this time last year so i missed my initial graduation ceremony but today i got my time to shine.

In places where women are killed for wanting to study i have managed to become another positive statistic and make my family, friends and peers super proud. I don’t know if i will continue with mainstream education but i will definitely keep on learning.

I dedicate this blog to my family, friends and the memories of some very special people in my life:

Mr A Burke a.k.a Dad

Mr H Bailey a.k.a Grandad

Mrs Merici Galvez a.k.a My Cuban Mother

Their spirits will always be part of my successes and i know you were all shining down on my today as i walked that red carpet, showing off my education.

Never give up on yourself cz we are all we have under the spotlight.

From yours truly and now……….

Miss A Bailey with a B.A. Honors in Caribbean and Spanish and Latin American Studies with a Certificate of Proficiency in Brazilian Portuguese!!!!!!!!

xoxo

Life has ripped my dream blanket into 2 pieces…..

You know when you think you have it all planned out. When you buy all you need n assign the extra pennies to savings. When you ACTUALLY call the bank to sort out your finances and rename your savingz account. When you find a website that has affordable flights for your next amazing career destination. Well that was me n now that bird fell out of a tree and broke 1 wing and 1 leg, stil concious but can only save one ….

I have known for a while something was wrong due to family medical history however i just took it in my stride n kept living my dreams.

In short, on Halloween, (yeh i kno!) i was admitted into hospital with severe abdominal pains which have now being diagnosed as fibroids. These are non-cancerous growths in the uterus that grow off female hormones. Many women never have any problems with or dont realise they have them. Some have children without any problems while other suffer years of pain trying and end up having a hysterectomy to have a better quality of life.
For many, including many amazing strong woman in my family, it meant booking days off work and literally crying in pain every month when ‘Flo came to town’.
I was aware i was likely to get it but it seems a simple urine infection threw my body into a panic n decided enough was enough.
The fibroids have spoken….
Im usually a super social, food loving, party rocker who loves booking a flight however this time in hospital has made me think of MY future and what I really want.
I always thought i would travel and then at some point meet my soulmate and then settle down to have some bambinos but now that im havin this reality check i may now have a unknown timer on my uterus…..
I suppose every woman (and most men) get to a stage when they have to plan their futures, whether they want kids or keep following their dreams.
We are in such a culture of multitasking that no1 has the mind to make 1 desicion and live with it (the day we get an ‘unsend email’ button, the world will go mad!)
But i wonder, and encourage you all to think about…..

What you would do if someone took your dream blanket away and gave you 2 options ‘Family or Career’ n the 1 you chose would be eternally blessed with opportunities and self fullfilment while the other fades into a distant dream.

WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

On a brighter note i will be starting an international charity for support of Women with Fibroids in Central and South America. Any advice is welcome 😀