We were the rain…..

The life we lead is one of many directions and connections

We too are crafted as unique as a snow flakes yet given the freedom to melt as we please

This place i call home is full of familiar faces all doing what they feel is best

Some people say that he is going down the wrong path

needs to stop dreaming and ‘get real’

while others marvel in his independence and freedom.

And her over there, she did everything by the book

listened to the elders, found her perfect love

only for him to be taken by the night so now she roams alone.

The homeless man on the next street is fighting to be accepted

it’s funny how we are all made of the same stuff yet

no-one wants to find his soft side beneath his hard exterior.

Now i’m about the go on my journey into the world,

I have seen others take the leap and follow their dreams

I love hearing their stories when they come back up here.

I bid my peers farewall, found my spot and began to fall.

At first i was afraid, not knowing what would happen

or if i chose the right spot.

Saw the rebel take the wrong turn and hit the ground hard

but this was no time for nerves.

And just before i hit the water, it was only then i realised

That we were the rain…..

rain

Ostrich in a Penthouse….

Right now i feel like i can see over my dreams and wants in life but there is an invisible barrier rising between us. I have worked for many a crazy adventure in my life and managed to succeed in all that i have wanted to do. Whether it be going on holiday at least 3 times a year or working 4 12hour shifts over the Christmas period i have done it.

So now when i am approaching the biggest pause button of my life, i am starting to fill up with anxiety. I know that i will recover and get back to my normal self but 2013 is not looking the way i wanted. I want to do so much and then i remember….. Oh yeh im have been diagnosed with an illness and i have to take at least a month out for recover from surgery. It has sunk in but sometimes i remember and it annoys the hell outta me.

Got me here drinking a Rum and Coke on a Monday night…….

As much as people tell me i will be fine and i should just take the time out to rest. There is nothing worse that craving the lifestyle you know you can work towards. My faith in God is abundant but he has blessed me with such ambition that my soul cannot rest until i have set up a new adventure or planned another outing.

My heart knows that in the long run i will be healthier and better off but im so ready to work some serious hours, get my butt into the gym, start using separate face and body creams, actually combing out my afro every night and greasing my scalp and all other sorts of madness but then i have a flashback and sigh deeply cz i kno the worst is yet to come.

So yep Mr Ostrich in a Penthouse i too can see my peers through the windows, gliding at my side through life as they please and although we are all in the clouds, i too cannot fly……

xoxo

Fear….. Friend or Foe????

 

Hey guys, so i’m officially around 12 weeks to my big international move to Honduras and for the first time i can say i was thrown back into my chair by fear and began to rethink my dream….

For those who don’t know or are new to my blog i spent the past year in living in Mexico in what was described as one of the most dangerous towns in the world, Torreón, Coahuila. Now before that trip i had a slight relapse on my dreams as i was moving alone to a non touristic part of Mexico for 11 months to teach adults English but to my surprise i ended up having another amazing experience abroad (i have also lived/studied in Havana, Cuba) of my quarter century life.

The state over-run with cartel intimidation. my year was full of ups and downs which included the occasional gunshot lullaby and our ‘spot they army truck’ game which was never below the count of 5 on some days. Overall my time in Mexico was simply wonderful as even though you could not deny the negatives i got to see the beauty of the country in it’s natural state (well… apart from PLAYA DEL CARMEN!! A.K.A CANCUN’S YOUNGER SISTER!!)

This chain of thoughts brings me to my present issue, HONDURAS…

Studying the history and cultural integration of Central America in University has made me so intrigued by this part of the world as they are so culturally rich yet through corruption, loss of power and extreme poverty these countries are now battling a negative image that the media has glued to them.

I must say that i take precautions and warnings very seriously however i believe everyone deserves a chance and God has put me here to inspire those chances in challenged places.

As you may know from the media reports the Honduras has a deadly gang problem and with the city of San Pedro Sula named the Most Dangerous City of 2011, the tourism has been sporadic to say the least. The deportation of gang members from the USA to Central America created some of the most dangerous cartels/gangs in world history and they are still devastating society to the present day.

One of my main problems is the stigma of having tattoos which has been said to be enough to be a victim in various cases as rival gangs identify their enemies by markings but sometimes regular citizens get mixed up too. I’m not going to live in the capital but it kind of worries my human nature as i have 9 tattoos and am a very outgoing person so i know already that i will have to change my persona to not stand out over there. I’m sure people have tattoos but with such violent associations it is not common. I have spoken to my co-workers and Hondurans and they do not have any issues out there however i will be doing some more research of my own to ease my spirit.

As always the media tend to focus on the negative points but as with everything Honduras does have a beautiful side and without the violence has a lot to offer holidaymakers. Check out this video below:

I have been offered a very good opportunity to teach in Honduras and even though at times i do freeze with fear i am praying 24/7 for God to protect me and give me the strength to follow my dreams and help contribute to the reconstruction on Honduras.

Any thoughts or advice would be very welcome!!!

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

Facing my social fears…..

Hey peepz! Been nearly a week since I hollered at u guys so fort i’d fill u in.
Last friday wnt 2 a mini pool party at ma bosses house n this night changed ma relationship with swimming!
The alcohol n beer wid lemon n salt (yeh, I kno!) were flowing n afta me, terry n laura did a photo sesh by the waterfall, the diving comp began.
Now everybody who knoz me will have heard about or understand the eternal battle between me n ma hair n kno that I dnt give a damn az long az itz clean.
But az I was watching every1 dive I started 2 feel like I was being pulled away from enjoying the moment. Terry, who has an amazing fro, was doin sum xpert divin while all I waz thinkin was I really don’t wana have 2 do ma hair 2nite n etc.
Then I gt a feeling from Big G (God) that I shouldn’t let my image stop from living n learn 2 enjoy nature. Before I knew it I was on a diving board 4 the 1st time in over 5 yrz n voila!! Ma 1st dive was kinda crap bt ma 2nd 1 was quite gud. Wil upload the pic when I get it.
N even tho I spent the nite drunk washing n blowin out ma hair, I dnt regret facing ma fear n enjoyin the pool.
Anutha major milestone dis week was karaoke! Now I have been with ma gurlz b4 all in the name of fun bt dis was a lot more intense!
1 of our work friendz invited us to a karaoke bar that he n his friendz rent out weekly n a lot of them r really gud.
Music has n always will b ma 1 true love bt singin iza nxt ting! So afta sum dark liquid courage (aka brandy n coke) I sang 4 the 1st time ona stage in front of ppl.
Fair enuf I sang a spanish song (TitoElBambino – El Amor) 2 gt more brownies pointz bt I waz pleasently surprised that I didn’t pass out n no1 ran out!! I also decided 2 the rep the UK n sing an adele song n all in all I got gud feedbak 4 a crazy amateur gurl like me.
I’m nt guna get in2 it aza career bt it waz jst nice 2 face ma fearz doin sumink I’m passionate about.
U shud try it sumtime!
Hasta luego!