Decided to dust off this blog and give my followers an update on me n my goings on.
So it has been 10 weeks since my fibroid surgery and i can say it has been an emotional journey to say the least.
Post surgery i was in a very fragile place, being my first operation i couldn’t anticipate the pain and discomfort i was feeling and felt like i use the pain to remind myself that i just had major surgery. I’m a very impulsive person so the frustration grew as time went on!
By the almighty power of God above the surgery was a success and i am healing well. Even though i consider myself a lazy person it was hard being forced not to do anything and rest!! This was one of the most inspiring experiences in my life and i have the utmost respect for people who are going through medical battles.
You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is all you can be…..
As i got stronger i managed to get out to a few concerts and start getting back to the woman i am and it was so worth it. If possible, i can say i loved life even more now i know what people have to live with everyday.
I’m going to Spain for a few weeks to teach and get some vitamin D on my skin so will update you on my progress as ma tan sinks in!
I dedicate this video for anyone who is still being held back by something in life and i pray that your change comes and graces you. That you to will find ‘The brand new kind of you.
Right now i feel like i can see over my dreams and wants in life but there is an invisible barrier rising between us. I have worked for many a crazy adventure in my life and managed to succeed in all that i have wanted to do. Whether it be going on holiday at least 3 times a year or working 4 12hour shifts over the Christmas period i have done it.
So now when i am approaching the biggest pause button of my life, i am starting to fill up with anxiety. I know that i will recover and get back to my normal self but 2013 is not looking the way i wanted. I want to do so much and then i remember….. Oh yeh im have been diagnosed with an illness and i have to take at least a month out for recover from surgery. It has sunk in but sometimes i remember and it annoys the hell outta me.
Got me here drinking a Rum and Coke on a Monday night…….
As much as people tell me i will be fine and i should just take the time out to rest. There is nothing worse that craving the lifestyle you know you can work towards. My faith in God is abundant but he has blessed me with such ambition that my soul cannot rest until i have set up a new adventure or planned another outing.
My heart knows that in the long run i will be healthier and better off but im so ready to work some serious hours, get my butt into the gym, start using separate face and body creams, actually combing out my afro every night and greasing my scalp and all other sorts of madness but then i have a flashback and sigh deeply cz i kno the worst is yet to come.
So yep Mr Ostrich in a Penthouse i too can see my peers through the windows, gliding at my side through life as they please and although we are all in the clouds, i too cannot fly……
You know when you think you have it all planned out. When you buy all you need n assign the extra pennies to savings. When you ACTUALLY call the bank to sort out your finances and rename your savingz account. When you find a website that has affordable flights for your next amazing career destination. Well that was me n now that bird fell out of a tree and broke 1 wing and 1 leg, stil concious but can only save one ….
I have known for a while something was wrong due to family medical history however i just took it in my stride n kept living my dreams.
In short, on Halloween, (yeh i kno!) i was admitted into hospital with severe abdominal pains which have now being diagnosed as fibroids. These are non-cancerous growths in the uterus that grow off female hormones. Many women never have any problems with or dont realise they have them. Some have children without any problems while other suffer years of pain trying and end up having a hysterectomy to have a better quality of life.
For many, including many amazing strong woman in my family, it meant booking days off work and literally crying in pain every month when ‘Flo came to town’.
I was aware i was likely to get it but it seems a simple urine infection threw my body into a panic n decided enough was enough.
The fibroids have spoken….
Im usually a super social, food loving, party rocker who loves booking a flight however this time in hospital has made me think of MY future and what I really want.
I always thought i would travel and then at some point meet my soulmate and then settle down to have some bambinos but now that im havin this reality check i may now have a unknown timer on my uterus…..
I suppose every woman (and most men) get to a stage when they have to plan their futures, whether they want kids or keep following their dreams.
We are in such a culture of multitasking that no1 has the mind to make 1 desicion and live with it (the day we get an ‘unsend email’ button, the world will go mad!)
But i wonder, and encourage you all to think about…..
What you would do if someone took your dream blanket away and gave you 2 options ‘Family or Career’ n the 1 you chose would be eternally blessed with opportunities and self fullfilment while the other fades into a distant dream.
WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
On a brighter note i will be starting an international charity for support of Women with Fibroids in Central and South America. Any advice is welcome 😀