Right now i feel like i can see over my dreams and wants in life but there is an invisible barrier rising between us. I have worked for many a crazy adventure in my life and managed to succeed in all that i have wanted to do. Whether it be going on holiday at least 3 times a year or working 4 12hour shifts over the Christmas period i have done it.
So now when i am approaching the biggest pause button of my life, i am starting to fill up with anxiety. I know that i will recover and get back to my normal self but 2013 is not looking the way i wanted. I want to do so much and then i remember….. Oh yeh im have been diagnosed with an illness and i have to take at least a month out for recover from surgery. It has sunk in but sometimes i remember and it annoys the hell outta me.
Got me here drinking a Rum and Coke on a Monday night…….
As much as people tell me i will be fine and i should just take the time out to rest. There is nothing worse that craving the lifestyle you know you can work towards. My faith in God is abundant but he has blessed me with such ambition that my soul cannot rest until i have set up a new adventure or planned another outing.
My heart knows that in the long run i will be healthier and better off but im so ready to work some serious hours, get my butt into the gym, start using separate face and body creams, actually combing out my afro every night and greasing my scalp and all other sorts of madness but then i have a flashback and sigh deeply cz i kno the worst is yet to come.
So yep Mr Ostrich in a Penthouse i too can see my peers through the windows, gliding at my side through life as they please and although we are all in the clouds, i too cannot fly……