Ostrich in a Penthouse….

Right now i feel like i can see over my dreams and wants in life but there is an invisible barrier rising between us. I have worked for many a crazy adventure in my life and managed to succeed in all that i have wanted to do. Whether it be going on holiday at least 3 times a year or working 4 12hour shifts over the Christmas period i have done it.

So now when i am approaching the biggest pause button of my life, i am starting to fill up with anxiety. I know that i will recover and get back to my normal self but 2013 is not looking the way i wanted. I want to do so much and then i remember….. Oh yeh im have been diagnosed with an illness and i have to take at least a month out for recover from surgery. It has sunk in but sometimes i remember and it annoys the hell outta me.

Got me here drinking a Rum and Coke on a Monday night…….

As much as people tell me i will be fine and i should just take the time out to rest. There is nothing worse that craving the lifestyle you know you can work towards. My faith in God is abundant but he has blessed me with such ambition that my soul cannot rest until i have set up a new adventure or planned another outing.

My heart knows that in the long run i will be healthier and better off but im so ready to work some serious hours, get my butt into the gym, start using separate face and body creams, actually combing out my afro every night and greasing my scalp and all other sorts of madness but then i have a flashback and sigh deeply cz i kno the worst is yet to come.

So yep Mr Ostrich in a Penthouse i too can see my peers through the windows, gliding at my side through life as they please and although we are all in the clouds, i too cannot fly……

xoxo

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Fear….. Friend or Foe????

 

Hey guys, so i’m officially around 12 weeks to my big international move to Honduras and for the first time i can say i was thrown back into my chair by fear and began to rethink my dream….

For those who don’t know or are new to my blog i spent the past year in living in Mexico in what was described as one of the most dangerous towns in the world, Torreón, Coahuila. Now before that trip i had a slight relapse on my dreams as i was moving alone to a non touristic part of Mexico for 11 months to teach adults English but to my surprise i ended up having another amazing experience abroad (i have also lived/studied in Havana, Cuba) of my quarter century life.

The state over-run with cartel intimidation. my year was full of ups and downs which included the occasional gunshot lullaby and our ‘spot they army truck’ game which was never below the count of 5 on some days. Overall my time in Mexico was simply wonderful as even though you could not deny the negatives i got to see the beauty of the country in it’s natural state (well… apart from PLAYA DEL CARMEN!! A.K.A CANCUN’S YOUNGER SISTER!!)

This chain of thoughts brings me to my present issue, HONDURAS…

Studying the history and cultural integration of Central America in University has made me so intrigued by this part of the world as they are so culturally rich yet through corruption, loss of power and extreme poverty these countries are now battling a negative image that the media has glued to them.

I must say that i take precautions and warnings very seriously however i believe everyone deserves a chance and God has put me here to inspire those chances in challenged places.

As you may know from the media reports the Honduras has a deadly gang problem and with the city of San Pedro Sula named the Most Dangerous City of 2011, the tourism has been sporadic to say the least. The deportation of gang members from the USA to Central America created some of the most dangerous cartels/gangs in world history and they are still devastating society to the present day.

One of my main problems is the stigma of having tattoos which has been said to be enough to be a victim in various cases as rival gangs identify their enemies by markings but sometimes regular citizens get mixed up too. I’m not going to live in the capital but it kind of worries my human nature as i have 9 tattoos and am a very outgoing person so i know already that i will have to change my persona to not stand out over there. I’m sure people have tattoos but with such violent associations it is not common. I have spoken to my co-workers and Hondurans and they do not have any issues out there however i will be doing some more research of my own to ease my spirit.

As always the media tend to focus on the negative points but as with everything Honduras does have a beautiful side and without the violence has a lot to offer holidaymakers. Check out this video below:

I have been offered a very good opportunity to teach in Honduras and even though at times i do freeze with fear i am praying 24/7 for God to protect me and give me the strength to follow my dreams and help contribute to the reconstruction on Honduras.

Any thoughts or advice would be very welcome!!!

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

My last saturday being 24……

Technically i should be out dancing up a storm trying prove to myself i’m still 21 but in truth im sooooo happy to be where i am in life now. Yeah i will probably not like the first time someone ask me my age after next saturday but i think it is a blessing in itself that i get to enjoy my quarter decade on a Saturday!!!

As i reflect back on the past few years of my life i survived some of my deepest darkest moments and managed to drag myself and follow the light to my dreams. I am not a religious person by show, i believe in God through every part of my soul and body but don’t have a specific place of worship. In saying all this NONE of this would have been possible without him and i am eternally grateful.

In the last 4 years i:

Intensely and almost lost myself to grief from losing loved ones and managed to pull through

Studied Spanish for a year in Havana, Cuba

Spent the past 3 summers teaching English in Catalunya, Spain

Taken at least 1 holiday a year including The Bahamas, Florida 3 times, Turkey, Madeira, France and Jamaica.

Worked and lived for a year in Mexico

Received a Bachelor’s Honors Degree in Caribbean, Spanish and Latin American Cultural Studies

Started learning Brazilian Portuguese

Saw the Paralympics live in London 2012

Transitioned to Natural Hair after many relapses

Happy and proud of everything i am flaws and all….

In life i think we have to go through trials and hard times to appreciate the sun and good times when they come, whether it happens when you are young or on your deathbed, someday it will all click into place and  you will smile at your existence.

Might start writing down my bucket list cz i have ticked off a lot already!!